Those challenges that hit us at unexpected times can feel like a brick.
For me, my heart starts to race, and my thoughts scatter. I can’t think straight. Questions swirl all at once: What do I do? How should I respond? What just happened? Did I do something wrong? And sometimes, if I’m honest, frustration turns into misplaced anger, often directed at the messenger.
It isn’t pretty. This is what dementia caregiver stress can look like in the moment: sudden, physical, and hard to control.
One memory that often comes back to me is from the time I was caregiving for my husband during the moderate stage of his dementia. He had reached the point where he understood he was losing his ability to think clearly and remember. That awareness brought tremendous fear and frustration for him.
Anger and dementia go hand in hand more often than most people expect in dementia care, and no one warns you how disorienting it feels the first time it’s aimed at you.
And I, as his wife, became the safest place for those emotions to land.
One afternoon, over a small task where he made a mistake, he suddenly exploded in anger, throwing two leather shoes at me before running to the bedroom and slamming the door. Shocked, overwhelmed, and angry myself, I stood there, grasping for breath, my body trembling.
I knew I needed to step away. I left the house and went for a walk, trying to regain control and steady myself. I walked around the block and onto a quiet, natural path in our community. I took several deep breaths, sat on a nearby rock, and cried. It was a much-needed moment, one that allowed me to simply be.
Unexpectedly, a neighbor who was also out walking noticed me and gently approached. Feeling embarrassed, I tried to gather myself, but she offered comfort and understanding. Her husband had Parkinson’s disease, and she knew exactly what I was feeling.
That moment was a gift. In that instant, I no longer felt alone. I understood something important: this was not about me. And in many ways, it wasn’t even about my husband; it was his disease that had spoken.
I was able to steady myself and return home with a sense of calm. When I returned, I found my husband had completely forgotten the incident. He sat peacefully in his office, unaware of what had just occurred. I walked over and hugged him.
That walk around the block became my answer.
We all face moments when emotions rise quickly and unexpectedly, when we feel overwhelmed, hurt, or unsure of how to respond. In those moments, stepping away is not avoidance; it is wisdom.
Sometimes, the smallest act of removing ourselves from the situation gives us the clarity, strength, and compassion we need to return differently than we left. If caregiver burnout feels close right now, know that a short walk, a quiet pause, or reaching out to someone who’s been there can be as valuable as any strategy in a caregiving guide.
Takeaway Thought:
When life feels like too much in the moment, step away, because sometimes, the answers are waiting just around the block.
— Beyond the Now
Margo Ewing Woodacre, MSW, is a writer, former caregiver, and support group leader exploring life transitions, identity, and resilience. She is currently writing Beyond the Crossroads: Reclaiming Identity When Life Changes Everything, releasing in fall 2026.
Margo360.com
